Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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