Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
