PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
