Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
