Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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