He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
