Apparently you make a good broom.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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