ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
