I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
