Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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