I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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