We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
