Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
