if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
