I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
