You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
