The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
