Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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