Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize