I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
