Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I lost the right to judge tonight
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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