just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize