We're like a lot better than the average bears
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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