Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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