Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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