Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
