You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
