I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize