she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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