Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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