1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
