dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
