No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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