You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize