Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
