Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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