are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
