so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
