i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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