I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize