Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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