R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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