I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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