their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
