My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think i have two assholes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
