speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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