he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
