she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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