Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
