like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
