he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
