who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
