i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
