On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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