he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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