Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
