She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
