Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I need water and some morals
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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