i barfeds in our rink
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
