I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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