I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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